MESS

CHAPTER 3 :

"Life is a beautiful mess", I strongly disbelieve it. Such kind of strangely funny opinionated phrases works great in Disney movies or Shakespeare's poetry. What I feel is the "cognitive dissonance of humans " makes them easy prey for pain, anguish and sadness. My sadness might be yours perception of my nonsensical behavior towards a certain stimulant. A human sometimes acts certain ways due to the fact that they aren't often "open minded about prolonged periods of discussion, multidimensional arrays of thought process in practicality or certainty about certain decisions they want to take.

Counted as an intelligent species among every other species that exists in the earth but not intellectual enough I always restricted myself from phrasing out my perception about my environment. I was obviously tagged as an "introvert" for the obvious reasons. You readers can blame in on my super conservative upbringing or the caretakers utmost necessity for maintaining a social dignity of them in the society that I wasn't allowed to do so. 

There were instances where I choose to keep quiet as I would be referred to a very "young aged" who cannot have his own personal experience. I sometimes used to fool myself by thinking probably that really is true.

Mess according to everyone would mean my unmanaged wardrobe or obviously my study table; I used to be referred to someone who is not trustworthy of taking life decisions because of my messed up wardrobe, study table or perhaps relationships too.

Somewhere I blame my introvert nature due to the fact that I lacked a sense of self confidence; I was afraid to try , fight , lose and try again.

But wasn't it "their" duty to inflict that confidence, that motivation , that outlook towards life and truth. We introverts perhaps choose to be alone but not lonely due to the fact that now we don't trust anyone anymore for guidance.

Sometimes I look back and think of why I couldn't get someone to hold my hands to motivate my self esteem, is it really late? Can I start my journey afresh and undo every single mistake I have committed? Do we introverts really deserve a chance or it was just a biochemical glitch on the part of our brain?

Is it okay on our part to blame our stars or it really depends on us to start with a new propaganda. At this stage of my life I truly believe on "better late than never ". Not everyone is blessed with a proper guide , not everyone has the time for it in this age of cut throat competition, not everyone will want to help you.

My advice to everyone facing this similar issue is to let loose their fear and be more vocal because if we don't voice our choices we won't have any choices left

Conclusion:

A controversial part of thought process is that introverts probably are more messed up with their existence and experiences. But books on human nature strongly suggests introverts are more focused ; it's just their way of perception of life that makes them different from us